Sunday ☕ : The Email That Changed My Week

The fireplace in the living room crackles like small bones breaking, and the smell of burning cedar mingles with the steam rising from my mug of hot tea. Outside, the frigid cold arrived this past week to remind us winter is here — sudden, decisive, unapologetic. I’m bundled in blankets and fuzzy sweat pants.

My tea tastes particularly bitter this morning. Or maybe that’s just the aftertaste of an email I received last week. I know I shouldn’t let people get to me, but some things sting like winter wind through a cracked window.

The Surgical Strike

Sometimes life delivers pain when you least expect it. Earlier this week, between meetings and YouTube shows, an email struck with surgical precision: “Eric, your ego is out of control.”

I could have deleted it. Should have, maybe. Instead, I took the bait: “Thanks for the feedback, it usually is, but is there something specific you want to point out?”

To his credit, he didn’t retreat.

“You talk about yourself too much. You talk about how many houses you have too much, about all the portraits you have of yourself. You need to let the artists on your show shine and stop interrupting them.”
My response: “Thank you for pointing it out.”

And I meant it.

Mirrors and Angles

As hard as it is to see, sometimes we need someone to hold up a mirror at an unflattering angle. Because that is the funny thing about mirrors — different angles show different perspectives. Some might say my enthusiasm to know more is why I interrupt my daily YouTube show guests, acting as a representative of viewers who may not understand everything at the same level. If I can get the artist to explain something or go deeper, I’m going to step in and ask. Is that ego, or is that service? Is my interruption an act of narcissism or navigation?

Take those portraits he mentioned — thirty-plus paintings by the world’s greatest artists, many since deceased. Sure, commissioning that many portraits of yourself looks narcissistic from one angle. But tilt the mirror: I commissioned them to help keep portraiture alive, to give these masters meaningful exposure, to feature them in Fine Art Connoisseur and show the world that portrait painting from life still matters. It resulted in each of them selling dozens more portraits. Was it ego that drove me to sit for hours while these artists worked? Or was it patronage disguised as vanity?

The houses? I broadcast from different locations because that’s where life and business take me — it’s logistics, not showmanship. But I understand how it lands. Everything can be viewed through the lens of ego or the lens of purpose, and sometimes even I can’t tell which lens I’m looking through. But I’ll be more careful.

I don’t think I’m a narcissist, but I’ve battled my oversized ego my entire life. What I can’t decide is whether that’s a curse or a gift.

My Two Egos

There’s the ego that drives me forward — call it my engine — and the ego that needs applause — call it my needy child. The first confidently declares, “I can build something amazing.” The second insists, “Look how incredible MY contribution is.” One builds, one performs. Yet both spring from the same source, the same psyche, the same childhood insecurities transformed into adult ambitions.

Is it possible this flaw we call ego is also our superpower?

Domes and Blindness

I returned from Europe just a few weeks ago, and I can’t stop thinking about Brunelleschi’s massive dome atop the cathedral in Florence. He built it without scaffolding — a feat so remarkable that no one can figure out how he did it. And here’s the kicker: He refused to share his method, ensuring no one could build something as magnificent.

Was that selfish? Absolutely. Was it human? Undeniably. Was it necessary for greatness? That’s where things get interesting.

When Saint Basil’s Cathedral was completed in Moscow, legend says Ivan the Terrible had the architect Postnik Yakovlev blinded so he could never build anything more beautiful. That’s carrying ego way too far — when your need for supremacy literally destroys the eyes that created beauty.

The Builders’ Burden

I’ve never talked to a professional about this, but I wonder: If egos didn’t exist, would anything remarkable ever be built? Is it possible the world is shaped by egomaniacs who need to prove themselves, to show what they can do, to change the world in ways that outlive them?

I suspect the experts would say that the drive that ego creates is a positive thing, but that if you carry it too far, in a need for constant recognition, then maybe that’s a bad thing. Yet look upon the greats who have built great things over and over again, topping their prior achievements each time. If they are doing it for repeated recognition, isn’t that OK, because they are making massive contributions? Perhaps drive eventually transcends pure ego, motivation shifting from the need to prove oneself to having something valuable to contribute, with the ego providing fuel. It’s all beyond my pay grade.

Last summer in China — which was more amazing than I expected — I walked through cities so modern they made Manhattan look like an antique shop. Is this driven by collective Chinese ego, by the need to surpass other nations? Or is it simply the drive to be the best, regardless of recognition? And isn’t wanting to be the best just ego wearing a different mask?

Names We Remember

Would Apple exist without Steve Jobs’ legendary drive for revolutionary ideas? Would we have Facebook-Meta without Zuckerberg’s need to connect and control others? Would SpaceX launch without Elon Musk’s desire to be remembered as the man who made us multi-planetary? Would Dubai’s skyline pierce the clouds without someone’s desire to build the biggest and best? What about Gates, Firestone, Ford, Edison — people whose names we know precisely because their egos demanded we remember them?

Is there anything wrong with wanting to be the biggest and the best?

The Holy Paradox

Here’s what haunts me: I try to live biblically, to be humble, to give credit to my maker. Yet the same voice that calls me to humility also whispers: “Do bigger things, touch more lives, help more people.” But isn’t there some ego in believing you’re the one who should be doing the helping? Isn’t there pride in thinking your influence matters? What if we answered the whisper with, “No, let someone else do it”? Are we ignoring the will of our maker?

I’ll be the first to admit I’m proud of most of my career accomplishments. I’ve often coached people to write their obituary — not morbidly, but purposefully — listing what they want to have accomplished before they die, so they can make sure their list is complete before they stop. But if we can’t be proud of our accomplishments, why pursue them? Where do pride and humility meet? Can they coexist, or are they locked in eternal combat?

Harnessing the Monster

Maybe the answer isn’t to kill the ego but to harness it. Maybe it’s about recognizing that the same force that makes us insufferable at dinner parties also makes us unstoppable in our missions. The same voice that says, “Look at me!” also says, “I won’t quit, and I won’t be satisfied with anything less than greatness.”

Gift-Wrapped Criticism

As I sit here, I think about that email dive bomber. He gave me a gift wrapped in criticism. He forced me to ask: Would I rather be liked or leave a legacy? Would I rather be humble or helpful? Would I rather shrink myself to make others comfortable or expand to my full capacity and risk their discomfort? What if the great women and men of history had listened to their critics, taken the feedback to heart, and changed course for the worse?

The truth is, every person feels this tension. Every action contains both humility and audacity. Every creation is an act of ego — declaring that your vision matters enough to manifest it — and an act of service — offering benefit to the world.

Understanding True Greatness

I’m obsessed with understanding greatness. I believe God placed us on earth to be the best version of ourselves we can be. Sometimes it’s hard to reconcile that when someone is bombastic and full of themselves, they’ve earned it through the amazing things they’ve built against all odds.

Humility is a gift — the quiet reflection of knowing what you’ve done without having to broadcast it. But ego is a gift too. They coexist, two sides of the same coin. Humility can even get in the way of bold assertions, of standing in front of potential investors who need to see your vision burn bright enough to open their checkbooks. Selling people on vision takes guts and self-belief.

Bulls and China

People with vision are often misunderstood, often disliked by those who would rather their world remain undisturbed. Sometimes it’s the bull in the china shop that sees a clear vision of wrecking the status quo for a new future. It’s why some write emails or critical and nasty social media posts. But thank God — he gave us ego, and vision, and the ability to see if we can top our last effort.

What They’d Say

Here’s what the Bible says about this: “Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips”

(Proverbs 27:2). But it also says we’re made in God’s image — and didn’t He create the universe and then declare it “very good”?

And here’s what my therapist would probably say: “Eric, your ego isn’t the enemy — it’s the part of you that protected you when you were told at 40 you had no talent. It’s the part that refused to accept that limitation. The question isn’t whether to have an ego, but whether you’re driving it or it’s driving you.”

The Next Email

Somewhere, someone is deciding whether to send an email telling me this newsletter was too long, too personal, too much about me. They will find flaws in good intentions.

Thank you in advance for pointing it out. I’m ready. Bring it on.
Because maybe that’s the ultimate paradox: The same ego that makes me vulnerable to criticism is the one that lets me publish these words anyway.

Yes, Mr. Email, my ego is large. My intent isn’t to brag, I need to remain humble about my accomplishments, but I don’t want to be stopped from doing what I think needs to be done just to please those who feel I’ve gone too far. The key to remember is: It’s not about me, it’s about vision to help others and big ideas to make that happen. Sometimes I’ll screw up, and for those moments, I deserve correction.

PS: Keep reading all the way to the bottom and you’ll discover three announcements of something spectacular and new.

Humbly, this year has been a magnificent whirlwind. Going to China, taking a group to Switzerland and Italy, a week of painting and meetings in Italy, a couple of new portrait sittings, countless events and speeches, and 18 million YouTube views later, I’m both exhausted and exhilarated. The next few weeks offer something precious: thinking time. No airports. No hotels. Just the quiet space to dream about what’s next.

But before I disappear into my planning cave, let’s talk about the elephant in every artist’s studio...

The Gift They Actually Want (But Won’t Tell You)

Look, I love my family, but if I get one more Bob Ross bobblehead or apron “because you paint,” I might scream. Here’s what artists REALLY want but are too polite to ask for: They want to get better. They want to learn from masters. They want to be with and paint with their tribe.

That’s why I’m sharing my insider’s list of gifts that will make any artist in your life light up like a Sorolla painting at golden hour:

The Game-Changers (Under $200)

PaintTube.TV — Imagine Netflix, but instead of binge-watching shows, you’re learning from 100+ other masters. The world’s largest library of art instruction (100,000+ hours) — any medium, any subject, instantly streaming. A gift card is what I recommend for every artist friend so they can pick one of the 700+ training videos from top masters.

The Stocking Stuffers (Under $40)

PleinAir Magazine or Fine Art Connoisseur Magazine — Give them a year of inspiration delivered to their door. Every issue is like a masterclass in art or collecting they can hold in their hands.

Easel Brush Clip — The tool every painter needs but doesn’t know exists. Keeps brushes handy without the juggling act.

Value Specs — These magical glasses help artists see values correctly. Game-changer for anyone struggling with light and shadow.

The Life-Changing Experiences

Watercolor Live (January, Online) — Four days with the world’s top watercolorists, streaming from 20+ countries. An artist can attend in pajamas and replay forever.

Winter Escape Artists’ Retreat (February, Hilton Head) — While everyone else is shoveling snow, they’ll be painting on the beach in 75-degree weather. Limited to 100 artists who become instant friends.

NEW: Gouache Boot Camp (February 19, Online) — Gouache is having a moment. Perfect for the artist ready to try something new. An event focused on the fundamentals of working with gouache.

Acrylic Live (March, Online) — Four days of acrylic mastery from artists who’ve redefined the medium.

Art Business Mastery Day (April 16, Online) — A day of coaching from the experts to make your art sell better.

The Plein Air Convention & Expo (May, Ozarks) —The world’s largest plein air gathering. The main hotel is already sold out — we’re filling four more. This is their tribe, their people, their week of pure artistic joy.

Paint the Adirondacks (June) — My personal favorite. A week painting my beloved mountains with a small, passionate group.
Gouache Live (August 20, Online) — Since gouache is having a moment, we’re having two. This event will be focused on landscape painting with gouache.

Plein Air Live (September, Online) — Three days of plein air and landscape instruction right in your studio!

Fall Color Week (October, Acadia National Park, Maine) — My other personal favorite. (Like my kids, I love them all.) A week painting in Acadia National Park and fall color.

Realism Live (November, Online) — Three days of demos from the top masters in realism art.

Who Is This Guy Eric Rhoads?

Eric Rhoads is the founder and publisher of PleinAir Magazine and Fine Art Connoisseur Magazine (both on newsstands nationally), author and host of six Art Marketing instruction videos, writes a blog on Art Marketing, and is the author of the Amazon bestseller Make More Money Selling Your Art. Additionally, he produces the weekly e-newsletters American Watercolor, Fine Art Today, Inside Art, PaintTube ArtNotes, Pastel Today, Plein Air Today, and Realism Today. Eric hosts the in-person Plein Air Convention & Expo, the Fine Art Trip for art collectors, and painting retreats including Paint Adirondacks, Fall Color Week, and the Winter Art Escape, as well as online virtual events Acrylic Live, Pastel Live, PleinAir Live, Realism Live, Watercolor Live Digital Painting Live, Gouache Live, and Art Business Mastery Day. He is also the producer of the PleinAir Salon Online Art Competition and art instructional courses through PaintTube.tv. Each weekday Eric hosts Art School Live, a YouTube show featuring free demos from a variety of artists, and he is host of the PleinAir Podcast and Art Marketing Minute Podcast. Eric is a plein air, landscape, and portrait painter with works at Castle Gallery. He is heavily involved in the radio industry as founder of Radio Ink Magazine as well as Radio + Television Business Report, the Radio Forecast Conference, and the Hispanic Radio Conference. He is the author of the bestselling book Blast from the Past: A Pictorial History of Radio’s First 75 Years. Eric lives in Austin, Texas, with his bride, Laurie, and they are the parents of triplets. Learn more at EricRhoads.com, or see Everything We Do.