Steam rises from my mug like morning mist as I settle into my octagonal sanctuary, perched high above the lake’s glassy surface. The sunrise paints the Adirondack sky in watercolor strokes of coral and amber, while fog clings to the water like a lover reluctant to let go. Ancient pine branches frame this Hudson River School masterpiece, their silhouettes dancing against the dawn. Here, in this cathedral of silence so profound you can hear your own heartbeat, the world makes sense again.
Truth Over Tactics
Last week, during one of my twice-monthly artist coaching sessions, someone lobbed the eternal question my way: “How do I get people to consistently buy from me?” My brain immediately started scrolling through the usual suspects — marketing funnels, social media hacks, psychological triggers. But something made me pause, like when you’re about to bite into what you thought was chocolate and realize it’s liver. The real answer isn’t about manipulation or clever sales tricks. It’s about something far more valuable and infinitely harder to manufacture: trust.
Names Carry Weight
Think about it. When I say “someone you’d trust with your life,” whose face appears in your mind’s theater? What about “someone who’s never let you down”? Your brain probably served up those names faster than a short-order cook flipping pancakes. Now flip the script: “someone who betrayed you” or “someone whose word means nothing.” Ouch, right? Those names probably stung a little just thinking about them.
Dad’s Hard Wisdom
My father used to drill this into my thick skull: “Your name is your most valuable asset. Once it’s damaged, good luck putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.” Did I listen? Of course not. I was young and convinced I was smarter than physics, karma, and common sense combined.
The $650,000 Lesson
Decades ago, a client shared a brilliant business idea with me. Fast-forward a year or two, and I’d convinced myself it was my own genius brewing. So I launched it with a magazine ad, feeling pretty pleased with my entrepreneurial spirit. The response was underwhelming, but one call changed everything. My client saw the ad, called me up, and delivered a verbal knockout punch that would make Mike Tyson proud. He accused me of stealing his idea — because, well, I had — and canceled $65,000 worth of annual advertising on the spot. But the real kicker? He also poached my best salesperson. My moment of “brilliance” cost me roughly $650,000 over the next decade, plus my reputation with everyone he talked to. Talk about expensive stupidity.
Gossip’s Hidden Tax
Then there was the friend who confided something personal to me, which I promptly shared like breaking news. Word got back to him faster than a boomerang with a GPS tracker. I fell on my sword, admitted my mistake, and spent the next decade rebuilding what had taken a decade to build. Now I’m so paranoid about confidences that I practically ask people to sign NDAs before casual conversations.
Recent Trust Breaks
Just recently, two business associates tried to pull fast ones on me. One flat-out lied about a project we were supposed to be doing together, not revealing that they had hired someone else for the project — they were pretending things were going forward but just delayed. They easily could have told me the truth, let me down like an adult, and we both would have moved on respecting one another. The other practiced the fine art of strategic omission, not revealing a coming contract violation I knew about but they didn’t share. Both lost a decade of trust in one fell swoop. Now, when opportunities arise to help them or give them stage time, my enthusiasm meter reads somewhere between “meh” and “hard pass.” They chose short-term comfort over long-term credibility. Credibility would have continued had they shared the truth, as painful as it might have been for both of us.
The “Kiss Cam” Catastrophe
Remember that CEO who got caught on a “Kiss Cam” last week with his employee-mistress? Thirty seconds of camera time exposed an affair that nuked his marriage, traumatized his kids, tanked his career, and put an entire company at risk. One moment, one choice, one camera angle — and his name went from respected leader to cautionary tale faster than you can say “career suicide.”
The Radio Rebellion
When I was 21, I pulled a publicity stunt at a Miami radio station, pretending to take over the airwaves. The police showed up mid-broadcast, nearly arrested me, and we had to run hourly apologies using my name for an entire week. Surprisingly, this made me famous and boosted ratings. Sometimes stupid stunts work out — but that’s like saying sometimes playing Russian roulette doesn’t kill you.
Building Your Brand
Your name becomes what you consistently reinforce through your actions, not your words. You can’t talk your way out of what you’ve behaved your way into. Ben Hogan said it best: “Your name is the most important thing you own. Don’t ever do anything to disgrace or cheapen it.” Andrew Carnegie echoed this: “Young man, make your name worth something.”
Generational Impact
Here’s the sobering truth: Your reputation doesn’t die with you. It ripples through generations, affecting people who share your surname. The stories people tell about you become family folklore, shaping how future generations are perceived before they even have a chance to prove themselves.
Final Thoughts
Trust is the only currency that never inflates or crashes. It’s harder to earn than money, easier to lose than car keys, and more valuable than any asset on your balance sheet. In a world obsessed with growth hacks and viral strategies, maybe the most radical thing you can do is simply be trustworthy.
Questions for Reflection:
What does your name actually stand for, beyond what you hope it represents?
Can you identify moments when you chose short-term gain over long-term trust?
Who in your life exemplifies unshakeable integrity, and what specific actions earned your trust?
What lines are you absolutely unwilling to cross, even when the temptation is overwhelming?
How would you feel if your children were judged solely by the reputation you’re building today?
